How I’m gona walk in the park and I ain’t got no gun?

                                                                                             – Waka Flocka 

If you’re living life and not changing, growing or maturing then you’re doing it wrong. The Flockaveli rapper went from saying, “I’m trying to hit the hotel with two girls” to “I want a family. I want to see my daughter grow up. I want matching jumpsuits”.

That, everyone is called growth!

What’s your excuse?





Being Honest

4/3/2017 – 9:30 AM


So, I just finished watching the first video posted by FouseyTube, the YouTuber in four months.

Where has he been? What has he been doing? All of that doesn’t matter. That’s because the “why” was the focal point of the video. Why did he leave his fans, his channels, management companies, his profession? He has his reasons. One thing I noticed him mention was fear. So what is fear?


“An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat”

So what could be so dangerous in Fousey’s life that could cause him to be afraid? Go watch the fucking video if you really want to find out (link below).

I’m here to tell you about my fears and how they affect me. For most of my life, I’ve always been the quiet, shy, meek child. I’ve got a great personality but if you’ve never taken the time to get to know me then you’d think I was stuck up or something. However, I’m just guarded. I like to assess people before I let them into my life. I can’t tell  you the revolving door of people I’ve had walk in and then out of my life after, willingly or unwillingly. I am a tough not to crack. But under that shell, I’m as soft as a snail, all squishy and gooey. Why does a shell have a snail? That’s obviously a rhetorical question but you get the point.

Fear, runs my life-like no other. There are so many things that I’ve wanted to do but didn’t even try because I’ve been afraid to fail. Fear is like a disease, it starts small but spreads until it encompasses you in your entirety. It brings you down, makes you depressed, sad and unhappy. My most recent battle with fear has revolved around isolation. I went through a break up that really affected me and also lost one of my best friends around that time. I could say that it has been one of the worst few months of my life. So, how did my illogical fear decided that I should deal with that? Isolation – separating myself from my friends and everyone around me who cared about me. Why? – Because eventually they were just going to hurt me and leave me too. Society never looks at vulnerability and weakness as something good. It’s all about strength and putting on a good face. However, most of it’s a lie. That person at work you see smiling probably has a thousand issues behind that smile.

Fear – Why should fear win? Why should we let it control our lives? Why can’t we shoot for the stars? I don’t have all the answers. What can I say? Life is like one of those adventure games you play and for some people, fear is that big boss at the end of every stage. There’s no moving on to the next stage without defeating it. So what are we going to do about it? I haven’t figured that out yet, but at least I know that this weekend I won’t be staying home and stuffing my face in that isolation chamber I call a bedroom.

Why I left youtube (Dose of Fousey)

Thanks For Reading!



Ps. I lowkey have a bit of OCD and it is taking all the strength in me to post this without checking it 50 thousand times.



Worth it or Worthless?


Actions Speak Louder than Words.


It has taken me some time to realize that in order to know if someone truly loves you, you need to evaluate their actions. A man or woman will show you how they feel about you even if they find it difficult to voice their feelings. People take for granted what they have and forget to show their love. This post is directed to anyone in a relationship feeling lonely, worthless, unappreciated and unloved.

Do you know that you deserve better? Is that person making you happy? Do you smile when you think of them or does your heart hurt from the painful memories? Do you feel lonely? Can you talk to that person about anything? Can you see a future with them? How is the communication? Are you constantly asking yourself why you’re with that person?

If the answer to most of those questions aren’t positive then you already know what to do. You deserve better. You do not have to settle for less. You’re in love with a fantasy and not that person. What’s making you stay is the potential of what the relationship could be. However, you need to realize that your love life doesn’t begin and end with that person. Yes, it will hurt at first. But in a few months you’ll be happy you got rid of the big bag of unhappiness dragging you down. It’s going to be okay. You are going to be okay. As a matter of fact you will be much better off. The sooner you start believing that, the faster you’ll be able to move on with your life. According to the law of attraction, positive vibes and thoughts will produce positive results.




That person may not think that you’re worth the time and effort but there’s a fabulous person out there who does. Why should we have to settle for barely good enough? Speaking from personal experience, I can tell you that the longer you stay in a relationship like that, the more it affects you. It  takes a toll on your self esteem and your emotional stability. Am unhealthy relationship isn’t something that you need in your life. If you try to work it out and there’s no indication of any change happening on the side of your partner, that means it’s time to go. They will say anything to make you stay or have some unpleasant parting words. However, you shouldn’t question that you’re doing the right thing. Sometimes it’s okay to put yourself first and do what’s best for you!




…and sometimes you just have to go out there and